Happily Ever Single

th2VVPPJUT“Maybe you’re the girl thinking you’ll end up alone.”  These lyrics from “Someone Worth Dying For” by Mikeschair still make me cringe when I hear the song come on the radio.   While the overall message of the tune ultimately has good intentions, it sadly puts singleness on a short list of worst-case scenarios.

I’ve seen an unhealthy fear of singleness drive many women (and some men) to a desperate pursuit of marriage.   This was especially true when my peers were in their 20’s and 30’s.   When I parted ways with a guy I was dating in college, I remember him gasping, ‘Will I EVER get married?” He was 21, and the next gal he dated said, “I do.”   When I was 39, I received a note from a friend in her early thirties. In it she described her plan to lasso a man. Clearly forgetting my age, she stated emphatically: “I will NOT be 40 and single.” She was not.

I, on the other hand, breezed into my fourth decade decidedly unmarried. Surprisingly, I did not turn into a pumpkin, a reclusive cat-lady, or whatever other fate-worse-than death scenario people believe will happen if you don’t marry by a certain age. Now in my mid-fifties, I can testify that remaining single is nothing to be feared or avoided at all costs. That’s why it concerns me that there is still a subtle, yet prevailing attitude that singleness is an inferior destiny – or worse, abnormal. Continue reading

When Will It Be My Turn?

The first one came from JC Penney on January 22. “True Love?” the email ad probed, followed by pictures of gleaming heart-shaped jewelry on sale (with an “extra” 20% off).

While I had seen Valentine’s Day cards at Walmart for a while, I knew this ad signified the beginning of an all-out marketing assault by retailers trying to sell their romantic wares by February 14.  Valentine’s Day is a wonderful holiday—if you are an elementary school kid exchanging cutsie cards and candy — or, if you are an adult with a special someone in your life.

But for unattached singles, the flurry of ads, displays, and flower deliveries to co-workers can be a difficult time. That’s why I’m dedicating this blog post to singles — especially those who have never married. I want you to know that you’re not alone in struggling through this holiday, nor are you the only one who has asked, “When will it be my turn?” Continue reading