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I confess, I watched it. I turned on the TV in the wee hours of May 19, 2018 just in time to see Prince Harry and Meghan Markle kneeling at the altar in Saint George’s Chapel. The sight of Meghan, her ethereal silk veil stretching sixteen feet behind her literally took my breath away.
Later, I watched the entire recording of the wedding, captivated by every nuance. I wasn’t alone, as an estimated two billion people around the world tuned in to catch a glimpse of the American “commoner” marrying her handsome British prince.
The love story of Meghan and Harry (now the Duke and Duchess of Sussex) breathes life into a classic song from the Disney movie, Snow White:
Some day my prince will come
Some day we’ll meet again
And away to his castle we’ll go,
To be happy forever I know. [1]
The tune, originally released in 1937, is so popular it was ranked the 19th greatest film song of all time by the American Film Institute in 2004. [2] Perhaps one reason is because the lyrics appeal to the deep desire that most women (and men) have to find their perfect soulmates and live “happily ever after.”
There’s nothing wrong with dreaming of Mr. or Mrs. Right. We are all wired with the need for companionship and intimacy . . . and marriage is a sacred union ordained by God.
Unfortunately, real life isn’t a fairy tale.
Some people never meet their Prince or Princess Charming.
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Others (even Royals) have grandiose weddings, only to end up disenchanted and divorced. Some “happily ever-afters” are tragically cut short by the death of a spouse. Even the best marriages require hard work and have their ups and downs.
Personally, I belong to the group whose prince has yet to show up. (I wonder, did he refuse to stop and ask for directions)? Virtually every day I’m reminded that my life doesn’t fit the “norm.”
Recently, I was watching a lovely young bride-to-be open her gifts at a shower. I was coping fairly well until I heard the following words: “Let’s go around the table and have everyone give the bride some marriage advice.”
At that moment, I began praying earnestly for seismic activity that would cause the floor to open and swallow me. One by one, the women dispensed wisdom from their decades of marriage. When it was my turn, I said I had no experience to draw from, so I had to Google it. Everyone laughed, including me.
But inside, I felt more like crying.
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Maybe like me, you’re good at putting on a brave face, but internally you sometimes feel left out or disappointed because things haven’t turned out how you thought they would.
It’s tempting to think the only path to a happier life is for our circumstances to change. But the deeper solution is to trust in our Creator, who sees the big picture.
The best way I know to re-frame my mindset when I’m hurting is to immerse myself in Scripture and pour out my heart to my God .
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Over the past few weeks, I have basked in the book of Hebrews. As I absorbed the chapters, I found that they are chock-full of guidance for persevering when life is hard.
Here are eighteen actions we can take when we experience trials or disappointment:
1. Draw near to God (Hebrews 10:22).
2. Hold unswervingly to hope (Hebrews 10: 23).
3. Remember you are never alone (Hebrews 13:5).
4. Fear not (Hebrews 13:6).
5. Keep the faith (Hebrews 4:14).
6. Pray with confidence (Hebrews 4:16).
7. Receive mercy and grace. (Hebrews 4:16).
8. Persevere (Hebrews 10:36).
9. Throw off hindrances. (Hebrews 12:1).
10. Run your unique race. (Hebrews 12:1).
11. Resist bitterness (Hebrews 12:14).
12. Refuse to lose heart (Hebrews 12:3).
13. Avoid isolation. (Hebrews 10:25).
14. Keep loving and serving. (Hebrews 9:14; 10:24; 13:1-3).
15. Be an encourager (Hebrews 10:25).
16. Stay morally pure (Hebrews 12:16,13:4).
17. Praise persistently (Hebrews 13:15).
18. Live for God’s glory (Hebrews 13:21).
As we put these things into practice, we grow closer to the One who is able to renew our minds and infuse our hearts with peace. In the process, the “things of earth grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace.” [3]
Friends, there’s only one Royal who can satisfy our deepest needs: The Prince of Peace, Jesus. Until he returns for His bride (the Church), let’s keep our eyes fixed on Him, the author and perfecter of our faith.
[1] “Some Day My Prince Will Come,” by Larry Morey & Frank Churchill
[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Someday_My_Prince_Will_Come
[3] From “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus,” by Helen Howarth Lemmel
You might also enjoy Happily Ever Single, and Is singleness a tragedy?
singledevotion 
What a beautiful message. I can apply those 18 actions to my life every day. And Hebrews is the next book ill be studying. Thank you beautiful sistwr for your words.♥️
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Thank you, Jane, for your reflections and insights–the serious and the not-so-serious… 🙂
At age 72, it’s likely that the only prince in my life is/will be The Prince of Peace. In a “Jesus Calling” reading for October 7, He says to me, “Trust Me and don’t be fearful; thank Me and rest in My sovereignty.” I need this reminder that our loving and wise God is Sovereign over my life–every day!
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Thank you, Jane, for writing about this. I so appreciate your sharing the struggle and disappointment, and yet how God has met you in it. You are a beacon in how you have lived your life, no matter what comes into it, with integrity, honesty, and ever holding onto the One who holds your heart. I love how the truths from Hebrews, which you distilled down to their core, translate to anyone in any circumstance to focus on trusting God. Life is indeed difficult and a tiring race to keep running…thank you for sharing the hope we can have in Christ. How I/we ever need this kind of encouragement!
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Hebrews is a wonderful book written for those wondering about how their lives have gone and what might yet to be. Interesting subject.
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Thanks for sharing…I too was “the single one” for many events until I met my prince at the age of 36. I never thought he would come but God has a way of taking care of us each in different ways. I regret what happened at the shower but truly appreciate that you played along–please know that wasn’t intended to make anyone uncomfortable as it just sort of happened. I planned to watch the wedding but overslept–thank goodness for social media as I watched it that way. Many of us, even those of us who are married, are suckers for wedding happiness–regardless of who it is. I appreciate reading your perspective and understanding how God is always in your heart!
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You have inspired me to read through the book of Hebrews. Thank you!
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My immediate thought on seeing the title of this blog entry before reading it was the conclusion of the last paragraph. Looking forward to when our Prince comes or takes us home, whichever comes first.
In the meantime, a few thoughts (this is what happens when I get insomnia from drinking too much tea)…
1. One does not have to be married to give a new bride advice. You’ve lived long enough to have seen some things that have worked and can certainly pass on what you’ve seen in those examples…the Gossers from our college days, your parents, etc. Conversely, I’m sure you’ve also seen some negative examples of what not to do and can pass that on also.
2. Christopher Yuan (his story is in “Out of a Far Country”) has noted that according to Jesus, there is no marriage in heaven. In that case, we might be making a bigger deal of it than it needs to be when we can look at not being married on earth as practice for heaven. He says the real goal is to be holy in our sexuality (re: #16 in your post).
3. More than 2 decades ago, when I was half the age of Ada Lum, a Wheaton grad, who has traveled the world as a Bible teacher and for ministry to students, she told of how someone proposed to her in her 60’s. She turned him down. The way I remember her story was that the reason was because she was having too much fun as a single person. When I told her that later, she laughed but then said it would have been really difficult to get married then because both of them were older and set in their ways. This was despite the fact that both are believers. I figured some time ago that I would have the same difficulty if an opportunity materialized and I would do the same thing Ada did. She’s in her 90’s now and stayed single.
4. My world view is rather limited, but I know a lot of single, older people through work, in my family and elsewhere. Some of them have been divorced at least once, some have lost their spouse (as you said) and some have never married. Haven’t looked at the numbers, but it seems this is not a statistically small group of people and I don’t think it is shrinking. Quite a few married people have had to live like a single person (even single parenting) more than they expected because their spouse has to travel frequently for work. And I have also talked and prayed with married women who are lonely in their marriage, even with a spouse that is physically present because they are not on the same wavelength. This really illustrates the truth that only Jesus never leaves nor forsakes us. Having Him as our Prince is what should be our norm regardless of the appearance of what is going on around us.
I’m inspired by King David, who had a relationship with God such that he asked Him for specific directions on what to do (e.g., 2 Sam. 5:19-25) and we see his heart all over the Psalms – his focus was on God, not on himself. When I look over my life, I hope I can say that’s the way I lived it from one end to the other. Heb. 12:1-2 is how I survived through college and it is still a life verse for me.
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